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The Fast and the Clowniest 3: Clown-O'-Ween
Dollars bills flew in the cold wind as me and Clowner and ran for our lives from the police, who were for sure arresting Tyrone. We were dashing through a neighborhood. The cops are about two minutes behind. We need to get out of this area ASAP. If only there was a device with wheels that could ride us out here... Me and Clowner ducked behind a car to catch our breath. "Maybe doing a deal with a drug dealer wasn't a good idea..." Clowner confessed, putting the pile of money on the ground, then putting his hands on his knees hunched over trying to breathe. "Yeah, and he didn't give us any drugs!" I added. Clowner slapped upside the head. "Ow!" I cried. "We gotta get into a car, like, now." Clowner stated. "Well yeah! But... but how?" I questioned. Me and Clowner scanned around the area with our eyes, still trying to catch our breath. Clowner saw something in the distance and pointed. Down the road was a white van, with someone moving some furniture into it. "RUN!" Clowner exclaimed. Me and Clowner took a mad dash for the van. As we approached, a man from the back of the van emerged. He was wearing a burglar mask and was in all black. "Fuck off, clowns! This is a robbery!" the burglar told us. "Can drive us out of here? The cops are after us!" I told the burglar. "Yeah, but only if you assholes give me all your money!" The burglar demanded. Me and Clowner stared at each other, then back to the burglar. "Yeah, here." Clowner said, putting his hands out with the money. I did the same. The robber put it in his bag full of stolen jewelry. "Thanks clownholes!" the burglar said as he quickly got into the van. The van started. "Oh shoot! Jump in!" I said to Clowner. Me and Clowner hopped into the back of the van. The van then zoomed down the street. I gave Clowner a high-five. "Finally. We're gonna be out of this clownhole." I said while adjusting my rainbow colored Afro. "Yep. I can't wait to leave this life behind me." Clowner said, holding onto a handle on the van wall. While thinking about our clownless future, flashing red and blue lights turned around the corner and faced us. The cop car was being drove some overweight bald guy. He pulled out a megaphone sand said "Hahaha! Time to clown you clowns!" "Corny pig!" I yelled back the cop. Just then, the van sped up in an instant, now flying down the highway. "This is the life." Clowner said. The cop put his hand out the window and chucked the megaphone at us. I tried catching it, but it ended up striking me in the shoulder. I fell to the metal floor, with my face sticking outside the ledge of the van. I was staring straight down at the road which was moving a million miles per hour. "Suck my pokadot balls!" Clowner yelled through the megaphone, as I lifted myself up. The cop car sped up closer to the van, all while more cop cars from the back began to catch up. Since it was after midnight, we were pretty much the only vehicles on the highway. It's gonna be hard to fend off these donut chuggers without other vehicles involved. Then I got an idea. "Clowner! I got an idea!" I called out to him. He was winding up his arm with the megaphone in hand. He chucked it toward the cop car, in which it landed on the cops windshield, creating a noticeable gash. "Yeah, that." I explained. "Give me more stuff!" Clowner demanded. I dug around the very back seeing what we could use to fend off these black killers. The first thing I noticed were these wooden chairs. I pulled them out and handed one to Clowner. He chucked it out the cop's windshield, which almost broke the entire thing. The cop was starting to lose control, as a another cop car was slowing pulling up to him from behind. It was difficult to keep balance due to the speed of the van. The cop with the damaged windshield pulled over to the side of the road, that's when the other cop car got on our tail. There were there police cars in the distance and there was a helicopter looming over us with a spotlight. Fuck off! "I need more shit!" Clowner yelled over the high speed and police sirens. "I'm trying! I'm trying!" I called back. Clowner steadily held onto the van handle as he watched the cop in the passenger seat pull out something. A gun. "Oh shit! Hurry!" he yelled. I found garbage bag. It smelled like a rotting corpse. I opened it up and saw severed limbs. I jumped back from shock. "NOW!" Clowner yelled. I looked back and saw that the cop in the passenger side was leaning out the window loading his rifle. Without thinking, I quickly handed Clowner the garbage bag. Without looking, he pulled out something from the bag and chucked it at the armed cop. It was a decapitated head. The head hit the cop right in the face, making him tumble and fall out of the vehicle. His legs got caught under the car, making the cop pull over. I gave Clowner a high-five. "What the hell, man? A body bag??" Clowner questioned. "I know, right?!" I yelled over the sound of the chopper. A bright spotlight flashed our eyes. The helicopter was hovering very close to us. A ladder dropped from the chopper, and it began to hover over the van. Heavy thuds could be heard from above. Uh oh. They deployed some troops! Cops holding cop-sticks entered the back of the moving van ready to fight us. There was about three of them. "Clown Live Matter!" I cried before slapping a cop in the face with a severed arm. The cop fell out and onto the road. He tumbled and tumbled... like a tu-- Okay, I'ma stop. That's when a cop sprayed me in the face with a deadly venom; pepper spray. I let out a horrific shriek. "Surrounder clownheads!" I heard a racist pig in blue demand. No. NO. I WILL NOT SURROUNDER! I will NOT let these corrupt beings treat clowns differently from the white man just because of our species! I swung my arm around trying to attack a cop, while blinded and holding on to a handle of course. But I accidentally hit Clowner. I couldn't see! I then felt a painful blow to the back. I fell to the floor, and slid out the van. However, my hand managed to grab onto the ledge. But my feet were on the speeding ground! I could feel my clown shoes slowly melt off from the 90mp road grinding my shoes. Keep in mind, I still have pepper spray in my eyes. I screamed for my life as I prepared for death by the road. So, I began to accept my fate. Until a powerful force made me lose my grip, and fell. And fell. We weren't on the road anymore. My body tumbled on some slender objects before landing onto a thicker slender object. That's when I realized the van had veered off a cliff and landed in a large tree. I was in unbearable pain and couldn't see a thing. I heard police sirens surround us, while the sound of the chopper was right above us with the spotlight shinning on us. Later, the clowns find themselves in the forest after the chase. Two robed clowns approach them and make them pass out. They are then taken to their lair. The clowns tell the clowns one of the clown gangs is handing out diamonds during Halloween trick-or-treating. It's hidden in one of the candies. The clowns order Jalul and Clowner to go out and find it before the other clown gang gets it. They find the kid with it and kidnap him. However, the clown gang is right behind them in a van. Another chase ensues. Category:W.I.P